| High school is about finding your individuality. Students are now getting to the age where they have acquired basic levels of knowledge. Their perspectives have now changed from focusing on school to focusing on themselves. Students have to find out personally what they believe in. Not what their family, teachers, or peers are pushing them to pursue. It is a struggle to fight against the screaming opinions of those around us. It is a constant tug-of-war battle between approval and our values. So many things are being waved in front of us that it is hard to tell what we actually want to pursue. Sports, academics, and clubs are all wonderful resources but with all the options being held with high regard and vying for our attention, it is difficult to discover what really gets us excited.  It takes the full four years of high school in order to figure out what we are really striving for. Freshman year brings in nervous excitement. We are assured we have time before making big life choices. Sophomore year we are glumly aware that we have another three full years of stress. Junior year is when the chaos arrives. The world is telling us we have to decide what we want, how we want it, and where we want it to take place. Walls enclose around us and we are worried what people will think about us during the end of our academic race. Students who want to pursue a high form of education are pounding at walls and digging through options, all to find themselves drawing a blank. This sets back their determination, and quite frankly, their confidence. The unrealistic expectations thrown at them can shovel in unnecessary anxiety and self-doubt. Finally, Senior year rolls in. Our lives are now encompassed by one question; what are you doing next year? Some students are excited by it, others are filled with existential dread. Either way, a ticking time bomb fills our stomachs. Our 12-year marathon is turning into a mad dash to the finish line. Our time is finally up and we take our first uneasy steps as adults. Our culture is roaring for our validation. But without the challenges and disruptions, our core values would never be sculpted. Individuality is forged, not found. After stepping through the flames of high school, we emerge holding only our strongest values. Keeping true to your beliefs is what solidifies who you are. High school is filled with its ups and downs, but sticking out through the turmoil will ignite the strongest parts of yourself that are waiting to be lit. |
I really appreciate the metaphor of a race, it makes the topic, which may seem difficult to comprehend by outsiders, easy to understand and think of in these new terms. I also like how you are direct with your message, especially in the first paragraph, but gradually throughout.
Question – Do you find that the year-by-year feelings are consistent among many people you talk to, or is it just your personal experiences? Only advice I would give is to elongate some sentances, but the shorter delivery may be the effective way to convey your ideas. Up to you!
I love how you went through every year of High School and explained how students may feel during it. It made this very relatable and engaging. The only thing that I was confused about was exactly what you were trying to get across. I felt like the end didn’t really tie back to the first paragraph, so I think not taking anything away but just adding one more on to the end might be beneficial. However, overall I absolutely loved reading this!!
I really liked how you included different aspects of all 4 years of highschool, and as you went through each year it got more and more descriptive.
I also loved this quote from one of your last paragraphs – “Our 12-year marathon is turning into a mad dash to the finish line”. I think it really ties everything together well.
The organization is perfect in my opinion. You have a solid beginning, middle, and end. I love all of the metaphors/examples you included! It makes your voice very strong. Is there a reason you placed the image under the paragraph about how we are now doing what we want instead of what others want? I think it might be better placed under in between the paragraphs about the end of senior year/what we will do next and the validation paragraphs. I suggest you add a sentence or at least a phrase at the beginning of some of your paragraphs just to make it flow even smoother.